Interviews, counseling sessions and numerous workshops all revealed the same result:
being diagnosed with Cancer, living through the treatment, surviving the disease and facing the uncertainty of recurrence means going through a turmoil of psycho-emotional stages, very similar to the stages of grief (Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross “On Death and Dying”) and the tasks of mourning (William Worden’s 4 tasks of mourning).
“When the doctors told me about the cancer, I first went through a phase of denial; I simply refused to accept my diagnosis. It doesn’t matter what type of cancer you may have; the word cancer alone strikes fear in the hearts of all of us…” I heard my clients tell me and I could relate to that because when, in my late teenage years, I was told to have inherited a disease*, I reacted in the very same way.
* Although a cure for PKLD (Polycystic Kidney and Liver Disease) is not available, treatments (immunosuppressant = anti-rejection drugs) may ease symptoms and delay the progression of the disease, however you will have to take other medications to control their side effects. And you may need to take medications for other health conditions..
“When going through treatment, sadness was the most prominent emotion, at least until such a time when the physical pain had subsided. Once the pain had cleared enough for me to think straight, anger followed, and it was directed at almost everything—cancer related or not…” another client said and I remembered my own sadness and anger when I was wondering “why me?” and how I hated my mother for passing on the disease to me and how I hated my body for not being “whole and healthy”.
“Then you start bargaining—it’s trying to make a deal with God, trying anything and everything possible to gain more time and survive….” a woman in her early fifties told me in a meditation workshop. Yes, that’s what I did too and in fact think to have been successful to a certain point, because I was told by my doctors to suffer kidney failure around my 40th birthday and I will be 50 in February. I desperately had started my research and journey into Energy Medicine and Psychology and found that the more balanced and burden-free I could live my life, the slower the cysts were growing and although MRI’s showed them on the screen, blood tests resulted in my organs functioning a 100%.
“When there is no more bargaining to be done, the depression can be overwhelming—like a feeling that one has been tossed into a lonely, black pit….” I remember having to deal with doubting my strength repeatedly, especially when I was told the results of the examination for my immigration to Canada. My doctor had told me that he could not see me getting a Visa with THAT disease! …and although I had all the therapeutic tools and self-help techniques on hand, for a short period of time I fell into that lonely, black pit, crying, pitying and hating myself. Believe me, that’s absolutely normal and helps us to release and surrender to a higher power in a healthy way UNLESS we get stuck in there.
The final stage of acceptance should more be called “acknowledgement”. If we are acknowledging what’s happening it helps us living at peace with a disease instead of feeling as a victim. The disease in a way becomes a teacher and this enables us to gather knowledge and wisdom to help others empathetically. When I introduce myself to the audience at the beginning of a presentation or workshop people tell me that they open up and feel a sense of trust when they listen to me, telling my life story, because they know I can relate to what they are going through.
When we are looking at the tasks of mourning or the adaption to loss, we also can see the parallels to dealing with serious or chronic disease that means a loss of health.
Task 1 – Accepting the reality of the loss: having to go through a disease like Cancer means we will never be the same person we’ve been before the diagnosis
Task 2 – Working through the pain of grief: yes, it is hard work! Much harder than physical work because we have to deal with a totally unknown part of us, called the sub-conscious (according to Dr. Bruce Lipton 95 percent of our life activity originates in the subconscious).
Task 3 – Adjusting to an environment in which the deceased is missing: we will be grieving the person we have been before the disease and we have to adjust our life-styles for example nutrition-wise, job-wise, relationship-wise etc.
Task 4 – Emotionally relocating the deceased and move on with life: the impact of the disease will always be with us in a certain way but when we can give it a new positive meaning and integrate the wisdom we have accumulated from the work in task 2 we will come out of the battle victoriously, stronger and more confident than ever before.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) will make your personal transformation and your re-birth into a NEW YOU and a NEW LIFE a wonderful loving and exciting experience and/or journey!
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) will become your very best friend after the diagnosis, during the treatment and after survival. Give it a try and book my 3-hour package!
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